Stalking Venus

I prefer breasts to legs.
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
Smother the butter all over the breasts.
If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
I’ve never seen a better spread!
I fancy a little dark meat for a change.
Are you ready for seconds yet?
It’s a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your [...]

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap [...]

IOL is reporting this morning that the elderly are being beaten up by their own children in order to gain money for drugs. From the article:
“Many pensioners are being abused by their families, by their own children and grandchildren. Their grandsons need money for drugs and they get beaten up,” said Yvonne Bassier, chairperson of [...]

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.’
Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, [...]

“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” Bob asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.”
“What sort of question?”
“Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook [...]

Man, every time I head over to funtasticus.com, I’m blown away by the great stuff they post. Where the hell do they find all these things?!
Here’s a glimpse of today’s stuff, but there’s loads more like this, so go check it out. Just remember to come back here to Stalking Venus again some day! [...]

There once lived two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
One evening they were out for a walk. It was getting dark and they were still far from the convent.
Sister Logical turned to her companion and said, “Have you noticed [...]