Stalking Venus

An obsessive search for the things we love.

Entries for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Christmas double-entendres

I prefer breasts to legs.
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
Smother the butter all over the breasts.
If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
I’ve never seen a better spread!
I fancy a little dark meat for a change.
Are you ready for seconds yet?
It’s a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your [...]

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BMW for teh lose!

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap [...]

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Shameless joke

IOL is reporting this morning that the elderly are being beaten up by their own children in order to gain money for drugs. From the article:
“Many pensioners are being abused by their families, by their own children and grandchildren. Their grandsons need money for drugs and they get beaten up,” said Yvonne Bassier, chairperson of [...]

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Random

A recent study conducted by Wits University found that the average South African walks about 1200 kms a year. Another study by the South African Medical Association found that South Africans drink, on average, 100 litres of alcohol a year. This means, on average, South Africans get about 12 kms to [...]

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Et tu? (obscure)

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Esther and Morris

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.’
Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, [...]

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    Latest on Tue, 06:22 pm

    Tim: Go away Russians! (Or post in English)

    Аркадий: Да уж По-моему в этом сообщении нет никакой логики :)

    Tim: My blog seems to be attracting Russians. Hello Russians! (GooTrans says zanussi said: "In the current situation, most of those moving away to second place. I wonder how we will live, if the dollar collapses?"

    zanussi: В нынешней ситуации большинство тем отходят на второй план. Интересно, как мы будем жить, если доллар рухнет?

    Tim: Maybe dude. Feel like kak though, so might not make it.

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