My cat, Dexter went missing on Friday night and didn’t turn up until Sunday afternoon. Turned out he had got chased into a tree and spent two days up there until one of the neighbours spotted him. I was almost out of my mind with grief, as he’s my favourite cat in the whole world. He’s my little boy.

Seeing as how he’s back unharmed though, I’ll write an ode in his honour:

Dexter isn’t a fancy cat
The first night we had him, he shat and he shat
For he had a gyppo tummy, you see
And we had to wake up to wipe his bum hourly
But despite all that, he grew up quite well
A white, tabby and tortoiseshell
The friendliest beastie I ever did meet
With twenty sharp claws at the end of his feet
He sleeps on my stomach when he finds me in bed
And bumps at my hand with the top of his head
When I thought he was gone, I was sad as can be
But now that he’s back I’m uber happy!